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Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One

Do you believe in monogamy?
"Believe" in monogamy?  Like some people believe in fairies, Jesus, or Santa?

I believe monogamy works for some people, but it's never worked for me.  For a lot of years I felt really guilty about that, even when I was monogamous -- I'd still fall for other people, and even if I didn't act on it, I'd feel like I was "emotionally cheating."  I was so, so happy to discover there was an open, ethical way to go about having consensual non-monogamous relationships, and while I've certainly not worked out all the bugs yet, I'm much happier and have much less self-hatred than when I tried to force myself into a mold.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
donnalee_kiss
May. 22nd, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC)
I think monogamy should be portrayed like it really is, extremely rare.
bzero
May. 31st, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
ha! Yes... if people would have more reasonable expectations, it would save a lot of heartbreak.
donnalee_kiss
May. 31st, 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)
I'm always amazed at the amount of lying to yourself or others people do. I personally do not know of one person in my family who is either happy in their marriage or not cheating. So much cheating is going on out there in the world it's sickening. If there was not so much expectation about monogamy, everybody would be happier.

Is probably why you are in such demand babe....I mean an honest man?
autumn_moonwolf
May. 22nd, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
self-hatred
I totally support your response. I know so many people who felt or feel the same way you do. That fight their lives trying to put themselves in a certain "spot" in life. One that says that they must love and live a certain way and when their life doesn't happen that way, then they are really hard on themselves afterwards.

It's so unnecessary when there are other options. Being poly and being in that kind of relationship is very opening for those involved. I can respect someone who believes in monogamy and wants to live that (as 1 in my own triad is monogamous while me and the other is poly.) Like any relationship, it just works in the same manners.
-Blessings
anjala
May. 23rd, 2009 10:46 am (UTC)
*hugs*

And this is one of the reasons we love you.

AJ & Dill

p.s. we need to have you over sometime to hang out and have dinner. I will talk to Dill to see what we can arrange? Are you going to InCon?
experimental84
May. 23rd, 2009 11:12 am (UTC)
It was a pretty strange question, I agree!

Me, I'm somewhere in the middle of the mono - poly spectrum, and am quite happy about that actually :)
elynne
May. 23rd, 2009 01:50 pm (UTC)
... what a bizarre question. Bizarre way to phrase it, anyway. :P I disbelieve in monogamy! and I have a +3 for my Will save!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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